The Official Annotated Ben Brown SXSW Timeline, or Boy, Have I Had A Lot of Fun!
The talk here in San Francisco on the email lists and at the watercoolers is all about SXSW. Are you going? Are you staying for music? Are you having a mind blowing party with free booze and great bands? Yes! Yes! Yes!
I love SXSW. It is one of my favorite times of year because it means that everyone I know and love will be in Austin all at the same time for almost two solid weeks of partying. Yes, partying. Sure, you can go and hand out business cards or launch your business or debut your awesome video podcast, but when I think of SXSW, I think of a constant orgy of beer, whiskey, tacos and barbeque the likes of which could not exist anywhere outside of the heart of Texas.
In honor of the events coming up in just a few scant weeks, I have created an annotated timeline of my involvement in the event. I think that once you read this, you will agree that without Ben Brown, there would be no SXSW.
THE OFFICIAL ANNOTATED BEN BROWN SXSW TIMELINE
2000 - $10k Pint Glass of Gin
At my first SXSW, just 2 months after moving to Austin site unseen, my too futuristic for its own good startup, DEEPLEAP.COM hosted a party at a fancy bar called B-SIDE. We spent $10,000 on the bar tab that night, which constituted the last money invested in the company. Notably, we did not release or even discuss our product at the party, because we were in "stealth mode." What retards! But it was a good party, and we had an awesome fake TV ad.
(Deepleap, in case you are not old skool enough to remember, was like Delicious + RSS + API culture + Stikkit + Widgets all in one beautiful cross platform package, but, you know, 7 years too soon.)
2000 also marked the first SXSW panel about blogging. There was much discussion about how blogging made publishing online easier, and that people would continue to visit your site even if you were not spending hours and hours putting together some kind of cool interactive art. What this meant to me was that all the people who I had come to respect as artists and innovators were selling out for hits. I stood up and gave quite the tear soaked and impassioned speech about the internet and its power to turn everyone into an interactive artist, and Rebecca Blood had to give me a hug to stop me from sobbing after the panel.
Later on, I hosted an after party at my house where Carl Steadman and Justin Hall played the SEGA Dreamcast while it was projected 20 feet tall on my garage door. We also used Justin Hall's phone to crank call Esther Dyson. For me, this was tantamount to partying with Zeus and He-man.
Lesson learned: Do not start a company 7 years too soon. Also, no amount of tears will save the internet from humanity's urge to do nothing and be rewarded for it.
2001 - Nobody Notices Until You're Gone
In 2001, my Über cohorts and I planned a party/performance called Pretty Boys Doing Pretty Things. It was to be the FIRST performance at Bouldin Creek Coffee House, which, I am proud to say, has gone on to become quite the hip venue for indie media events.
However, in February, I decided to throw all of my clothes in a bag and move to New Zealand so that I could pursue my hot monkey lust for my future ex-wife, Ani Moller, whom I had met, essentially, via hot naked web cam chat. But thanks to the brilliant performance by Dakota Smith AS Ben Brown, Pretty Boys Doing Pretty Things went off without a hitch.
Lesson learned: It doesn't matter if I'm not there, Dakota makes a better me anyways.
2002 - The Prodigal Son Returns With a Video Camera
I returned to the US in October of 2001, quickly got married and descended into total depressive madness due to the fact that the internet industry had crumbled in my time away and I was totally unable to find a job. During this period, I filmed 10 episodes of THE BEN BROWN SHOW, a video podcast that existed roughly 5 years before video podcasts were cool.
Because of the show and my other internet comedy work, I was invited by SXSW to host the IRON WEBMASTER CHALLENGE, an event that took place on the day stage and involved 3 teams attempting to create a website about Austin while Dana Robinson and I harassed them with bad jokes about web design. Moments before starting the show, Hugh Forest met us backstage with shot glasses full of whiskey and told us not to screw anything up too badly.
That year, I hosted a round table discussion titled "Taking Online Creativity Offline," which was about using the skills you had developed in the creation of cool online stuff to make things that were made of atoms. This was inspired by my work in starting So New Media, which was basically like 8020 Publishing but 5 years ago. My panel was modestly attended, but I felt good about it. Boing Boing wrote a little snippet about my panel, ironically quoting Derek 8020 Powazek saying "I think that there's nothing inherent in a magazine that makes it more special than a website."
OH HINDSITE! I LOVE THEE!
2002 also saw the performance of PRETTY BOYS DOING PRETTY THINGS 2, which was again hosted at Bouldin Creek, and featured readings from a variety of So New Media and Uber authors. However, most of the potential audience members were stuck at Texmex restaurant and didn't arrive until after the show had ended.
Lesson learned: If you are loud enough, people will pay attention, unless they are busy eating tacos.
2003 - Drinking!
In 2003, I spoke on Kevin Smokler's Book Culture panel, which was about the overlaping worlds of web publishing and paper publishing. Neal Pollack and I threw a So New Media party at The Escapist Bookstore, which no longer exists. We had readers from two other indie publishing companies, and a few bands. About 6 people showed up.
My vague memories of this period, clouded by my recent divorce, are of drinking, drinking and also possibly some making out with strange women of the variety that comes back to haunt you later on.
2004 - Don't Do Drugs
Sometime in 2003, Adam Mathes and I got it in our heads to start a parody dating site, then called Über Personals. Somehow, this qualified me to speak on a panel at SXSW about dating sites and the online dating industry. My co-panelists were Lance Arthur (the gay angle), Jonathan Abrams (founder of Friendster) and some PR flack from Tickle.com.
Two notable things happened in the days leading up to my stunning performance on this panel. The day before my panel, Neal Pollack and I did a sort of fake interview / reading thing during one of the afternoon keynote slots. On the way into our performance, Jonathan Abrams (whom neither of us had met) stopped us and we had the following interaction:
JA: Hey, aren't you that Neal Pollack guy who thinks he's some sort of writer?
NP: WHY DOES THE WORLD CONSPIRE AGAINST ME AT ALL OPPORTUNITIES?!?!
BB: Let's get him!!!!
The second thing that happened is, later on that evening, I took a pill and a half of fine, fine ecstasy and spent the entire night smoking Parliament cigarettes in my kitchen.
The next morning, I was the exact opposite of prepared for my panel, and decided that the best thing I could do would be to exact petty revenge on Abrams for insulting my friend. Unfortunately, this consisted mostly of saying things like "Anyone over 30 who still uses an online dating site is a FREAK or a FAT CHICK, and thus inelligable for love of all varieties," while Abrams deftly promoted Friendster and hit on the woman from Tickle.
SO PUNK ROCK, I know. In retrospect, the years 2002-2004 saw me acting like a horrendously bitter prick most of the time, due to the one-two punch of Deepleap and my marriage imploding one after the other. AWE-SOME. Hugh Forrest from SXSW told me that most of the feedback from the dating panel was about how I should never ever be allowed on stage at SXSW again, and frankly, I agreed.
LITTLE DID THEY KNOW.
2005 - Drugs are great! Doing them will make you cool and will allow you to hang out with celebrities.
By SXSW 2005, the failure/ecstasy hang over had subsided and I was able to resume normal, positive interaction with the outside world. I was on a panel about humor on the web, during which I said that nobody could make any money being funny online, only to be sharply rebuked by my co-panelists, all of whom had made a very decent living being funny online, once again proving that I should not be allowed to speak publicly.
Other than my panel, 2005 was a wild ride for me and the Ben Brown team. I met Malcolm Gladwell and became his unofficial party guide, texting him the details of all the good parties throughout the week. I launched Austinist, and power blogged my way through the entire interactive, film and music festivals and established Austinist as the GO TO blog for information about Austin's culture. And I began the slow and careful process of seducing a beautiful UT coed named Katie Spence. Rrowr.
Traditionally, SXSW had ended with a giant blowout part at the home of local author and futurist, Bruce Sterling. However, for whatever reason, they decided to have the 2005 closing party somewhere else. The alternate venue was not very good, and the party quickly lost steam. I told a small handful of my friends to come back to my place, where I had stashed a six pack or two. One of those friends happened to be Molly "Tell Everyone There's a Party at Ben's" Steenson. 30 minutes later, 100 people showed up at my house for the wildest impromptu naked nerds in hottubs party SXSW has ever seen.
Ironically, though the magnitude of this party probably surprised and awed some of the interactive attendees, it was overshadowed to such a degree by the party we threw just days later that it barely warrants mention. During the music portion of SXSW -- and I will take a quick moment here 1800 words in to mention that if you haven't stayed for music, you haven't actually been to SXSW -- my friend Ultragrrrl put on a party at my house that was possibly the best party ever thrown in any house anywhere.
TOP THAT.
Oh, I also launched Consumating. This is a picture of me and Adam giving Jeff Veen and Molly Steenson a first look at the first social network to allow members to tag themselves:
2006 - Video Killed The Internet Star, where killed is a metaphor for "grant exposure to the people watching IFC at 3:30AM on a Sunday."
A few weeks before SXSW 2006, the Independent Film Channel contacted me. They were looking for an interactive attendee who would be willing to appear in a documentary about the festival. They had heard of my various exploits in years past, and offered the job to me. I lept at it like a hungry tiger on acid. Thus, I spent the entire time at SXSW either talking into a video camera held by my childhood friend Tim, or talking into a video camera held by a real live professional film crew. The entire show can be seen in a thoroughly annotated form right here!
I spoke in 2006 on a panel about starting a business, or running a business or something like that. It was me and several people much, much, much wealthier than I. Basically, my message was: start a business, it is fun and even if you fail, at least you are not working for the man. Ironically, I was hardcore working for the man at that point, as I had recently sold Consumating to CNET Networks.
What I would add now to that presentation is, if you are going to sell your company, make sure that the people who buy it actually want it for a purpose greater than increasing their hipster cred.
My friends at Odeo and Adaptive Path helped me throw an awesome party at The Velvet Spade. We spent a lot of money on alcohol, and PEEL played so well that DOOCE let down her hair and danced. I had a camera crew following me around until they were thrown out of the party by the CEO of Adaptive Path. And I got extraordinarily drunk on the shots of Crown Royal that the bar owner kept making me do with him. It was awesome like an awesome party should be.
2007 - Please, Don't Hurt Me
I hear that this year is going to be a crazy SXSW. Judging by the number of people who have emailed me to ask where they should throw their all night open bar party, we will all be drunk, naked and covered in BBQ sauce by the beginning of the first panel session, and I for one relish the opportunities for business and career development that this will create. Consumating is once again throwing a no-holds-barred party with our friends from CHOW, and if you feed me enough whiskey, I might tell you where the after party is going to be. This is a timeline, so it doesn't really need to have a conclusion, but I will leave you with the following thoughts:
1. SXSW is awesome, but Austin is better when none of you are there.
2. SXSW Interactive is a great place to get with girls who are hot for RSS, but they will haunt your blog comments for years.
3. You may feel cool because you go to Austin and get drunk on Google's dime once a year, but the coolest SXSWi attendee pales in comparison to the dorkiest SXSW Music attendee EVEN IF the comparison stops at what sort of socks you are wearing. So don't get too full of yourself, jerko ... OR, buy yourself a music badge and stay for an extra week this time. YOU WANT TO BE COOL, DON'T YOU?
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I thought we had a real moment the last time you humped my leg, but now I just feel...empty inside.